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Siis kui ma messil käisin//Orgatec2018, schnitzel and Kölsch

/ Eveliis / 9 Comments

Orgatec 2018 sai läbi. Ühtepidi on kahju, sest te ei kujuta ette, kui cool on olla messil väljas tootega, mida tulevad kiitma maailma tipptegijad, ma auslat ei liialda. Teisalt on hea koju saada. Esiteks messipäevad on väsitavad. Peale päeva lõppu tahad tegelikult kohe koju saada magama, aga kuna sa pole päeva jooksul mitte midagi söönud, siis vead end siiski kohalikku Schnitzel-hausi ja sööd ära söögilauasuuruse šnitsli, nii et silm ka ei pilgu. Viimasel päeval jood veel kolleegidega 26 Kölsch õlut ka ja jääd ellu. Postitad teistelegi pildi, et vaadake kui kõvad me oleme (ja jätate ütlemata, et üks õlu on 0,2l). Teiseks saime me korteriga tünga. Võtsime Airbnb-st ja pildilt tundus korralik korter, ega tal ei olnudki konkreetselt midagi viga…kui teile meeldib 1970-1980 vibe ja sisekujundus. Aaah, see helkiv surikaatidega wc-poti kaas, et ma sellest pilti ei teinud! Positiivse poole pealt asus see korter Lena Baari lähedal. Lena Baar oli selline, millest me iga päev mööda kõndisime ja vaatasime, et küll on kummalised inimsed seal ees suitsu tegemas. Viimasel päeval kui õhtusöögilt koju jalutasime, möödusime jälle Lena Baarist. “Lähme vaatame ikka üle, sest tõenäosus on, et me ei satu siia enam kunagi oma elus,” mõtlesime me. 1980-aastate saksa pornot teate? Noh need inimesed seal olid umbes samasuguse välimusega nagu klassikalistes saksa xxx filmides. Bakenbardid, vuntsid, pikad juuksed (meestel), nahkvestid. Me jõime ühe õlle ja läksime igaks juhuks koju ära. Kolmadaks on Köln ise üks kummaline linn. Ei üks ega teine. Nagu aeg oleks ka kogu linnas seisma jäänud. Välja arvatud katedraal, mis tõesti avaldab muljet.

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Neljandaks, mess oli küll lahe, aga kui sul on kodus maailma kõige lahedam laps (kui ta ei karju) ja suht okei mees, siis hakkad neist puudust tundma. Seda enam, et juba järgmine nädal lendan ma jälle minema, tulen korraks vahetan kohvris pesu ära ja lendan uuesti minema. Viiendaks, väsimus. See jõhker väsimus, mis tuleb peale kui oled messiga ühele poole saanud. Nüüd tahaks küll koju!

Aga ei saa. Esimese lennuni on ikka veel kolm tundi aega (ma olen kolm tundi juba lennujaamas istunud!) ja teine lend jõuab Tallinnasse alles peale südaööd. Kuidagi tuleb aega sisustada. Jagan teiega mõnda oma lemmik-standi Orgatecilt. Disaini ja innovatiivsust ja lihtsalt ägedaid asju oli metsikult. Jama oli ka palju, aga sellele ma isegi ei viitsi keskenuda, meie saime teada, et me oleme, ilma liialdamata, väljas maailma parima tootega, omas valdkonnas. See teeb nats uhkeks küll.

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Loook Industries toodet uudistades sain ma tuttavaks nende müügidirektori Paulaga. Ülichill kuju oli. Ütles, et proovi aga, kuidas on teha väikene power nap keset metsikut möllu ja jumal, kus ma oleks tahtnud sinna pikemaks vedelema jääda. Nii mõnus oli! Mõtlesin, et kodus võiks selline koht olla, et lähed viskad end pikali, paned klapid pähe ja põgened reaalsusest. Jaa, muidugi saab seda kodus teha ka tavalisel diivanil, aga saate ju aru küll, see pole see ja no toode pole ka koju mõeldud. Massaaži ka ei tee tavadiivan. Lennujaamades kuluks küll täiega marjaks ära, ja kontorites. Kihvt värk! Rääkisime Paulaga, et kust mina olen ja kust nemad on ja mis tuli välja…toode on osaliselt ka Eesti päritoluga. Toodetakse Tartus. “Ma ei tea, kuidas seda kohta hääldada, aga sain aru, mis linna ma mõtlesin?” küsis ta. “Kylla, kylla,” vastasin mina, “ma olen Tartust pärit. Naersime. “Kui me järgmisel nädalal Tartusse läheme, siis ma kindlasti küsin sult, mida külastada ja kuhu minna.” Uued tutvused ja kontaktid ning suhtlus on see osa, mis mulle messidel täiega meeldib.

N.A.P. – ist võite huvi korral lugeda rohkem nende kodulehelt.

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Iseenesestmõistetavalt kuulub aga minu süda Silenile. Meil käis standist läbi selline rahvas, et ise ka ei usu. Suhtled, räägid, viskad nalja ja pärast vaatad visiitkaardilt, kellega sa nalja tegid ja suhteid lõid. Mõni kontakt oli uskumatum kui teine. Ka pole mitte äge, kuidas ühest suhtkoht nalja pärast tööle kandideerimisest saab alguse täiesti uus hingamine ja elu?

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Orgatec 2018 is over. From one side it’s sad, because you’ve got no idea what it’s like to present a product that even the top people of the industry come and praise, honestly that is soooo cool. On the other side it is nice to get back home.

Firstly, the days in expo are really tiring. At the end of each of them, you just want to go and get some sleep, but because you haven’t eaten all day, you drag yourself into a local Schnitzel-house and eat the biggest schnitzel ever with no problem. On the very last day you go on and have 26 Kölsch beers with your colleagues and survive. You even post a picture to show off not specifying that one glass is only half a pint.

Secondly, we got ripped off with our apartment. We booked it in Airbnb and on pictures it looked decent enough. To be fair, there wasn’t anything specifically wrong with it … if you enjoy the vibe and deco from the 70’s and 80’s. Oh, and I forgot to take a photo of that special shiny toilet seat. On a positive note, the apartment was very close to Bar Lena. Bar Lena was a place we walked pass every day and wondered how weird people are standing and smoking in front of it. On the last day, after walking back from our dinner, we passed it again and decided to go in. “Let’s just check it out, the likelihood that we will never come back here is too high.” Are you familiar with German porn from the 80’s? Well, the people in there were pretty much a classical example of the characters in German XXX films. Sideburns, moustaches, long hair (on men), leather vests. We had one beer and went home, just in case.

Thirdly, Cologne is one strange city. You can’t really figure it out. Seems like the time has stopped in the whole city. Except  for the cathedral, that IS impressive.

Fourthly, the expo was awesome, but if you have the coolest child at home (when she is not screaming) and quite okay man, you will start to miss them. Not to forget the fact, that I am flying away yet again in couple of days. Just popping in to change the content of my suitcase and I’m off.

Fifthly tiredness. That horrible tiredness that hits you once the expo is over. Now I’m ready for home!

But no I still have 3 hours until my first flight (I’ve already been in the airport for three hours) and the second flight lands in Tallinn after midnight. I need to do something to fight with boredom so I’m sharing some of my favorite stands from Orgatec. There was a lot of design and innovation and just very cool things. A lot of crap too, but I couldn’t be bothered to concentrate on that. We found out that, without exaggeration, we have the best product of our industry. That DOES make me feel proud!  

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While checking the product by Loook Industries, I got to know their sales director Paula. Very chill person. Urged me to try what it feels like to have a quick power-nap in the middle of loud noise. I wish, I could have stayed there longer, it was amazing. I was thinking that I could have a place like this at home where you can go lye down, put your headphones on and escape from reality. Of course you can do it on a couch as well, but you know what I mean, this is not the same and well this product is not meant to homes anyway. Your couch at home doesn’t perform any massage either. But in airports, offices, I can definitely see it there. We spoke with Paula where I am from and where they are and turned out … that product is partly from Estonia as it’s been produced in Tartu. “I don’t know how to pronounce the place, but did you understand which city I am talking about?” she asked. “Yes, yes, I am from Tartu” We laughed. “When we visit Tartu next time, I will definitely as where to go and what to see!” New people and contacts, communication – this is the part I really like about expos.

If you are interested, you can read more about NAP from their website.

But without a doubt, my heart belongs to Silen. We had so many people visiting our stand, it was unbelievable. You talk, communicate, make a joke and only later read from the business card, who was that person you just spoke. Some of the conversations you can’t believe just happened. One is more unbelievable than other. Isn’t it just amazing when one moment you applying for a position just for fun and that leads you to the beginning of new life and breathing.

 

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Tänapäeva kratid//Modern Leprechauns

/ Eveliis / Leave a comment

Sõbrannaga eile lobisedes jõudsime arvamusele, et keegi võiks inimeste lollusest ja ahnusest kirjutada raamatu. Ühtäkki tuli meile meelde, et keegi on seda juba teinud. Kivirähk on „Rehepapi“ juba kirjutanud. „Aga ta ongi nagu tänapäeva kratt, kes igast aidast midagi kokku krahmab, peaasi, et oleks rohkem ja uhkem,“ naersime me ühe avaliku elu tegelase üle, kes oma ahnuses on kaotanud taju reaalsusega ja ei adu enam seost pärismaailmaga.

Hommikul lugesin ma Postimehest Vilja Kiisleri intervjuud Laine Randjärvega. Me kõik mäletame alles hiljuti, kuidas ta vastu rinda tagus ja rääkis, kuidas ta 12 südamega tehtud tööaasta eest on 21000- eurose hüvitise ära teeninud. Selleks pidi ta ainult natuke oma uude ametisse asumisega ootama, sest oleks ta asunud tööle nii nagu sooviti ehk veebruaris oleks ta riigikogu liikme volitused lõppenud enne tähtaega põhiseaduse järgi „asumisega mõnda teise riigiametisse.“ Hüvitisest oleks ka ilma jäänud. Ostige lolli, kes ei kardaks kolli, kui on kollil raha maitse suus. Loomulikult soovis Randjärv ametisse astuda peale volituste lõppemist, et ka moodsa kratina enne taskud varandust täis toppida. Mis aga juhtus? Proua läks ülbeks ja kaotas vassimise pärast uue töökoha SA Eesti Kontserdi juhina. Aga vassimine on nii hinges, et nüüd on aeg märtrit mängida. Tal ei olnud plaanigi 21 000 eurost hüvitist vastu võtta, tema Facebooki postitus täitis hoopis muud eesmärki ja inimesed said valesti aru, sest poliitiku kuvand on juba selline stereotüüpne. „Ma ei oleks seda hüvitist saanudki,“ raiub ta, sest leping oleks ikka enne volituste lõppemist allkirjastatud. Jube jama, et riigikogus ebaadekvaatsed juristid töötavad, sest nemad teavad kommenteerida, et määrav ei ole lepingu sõlmimise, vaid töökohal alustamise kuupäev.

Laine Randjärvest on oma lolluse tõttu saanud ahnuse võrdkuju. Nii ka eelpoolmainitud avaliku elu tegelasest. Lollus ja ahnus ei sobi ühte võrrandisse. On veel üks tark Eesti vanasõna – uhkus ajab upakile, narrus neljakäpukile. Vana aja inimesed olid ikka targad! Moodsad kratid on ahnusest ja raha hiilgusest pimestatuna nõus maha müüma oma väärikuse, lisaks jääb neil õigust ülegi – nemad on kannatajad, nendele on liiga tehtud. Ei ole teile liiga tehtud, ei ole. Teie oma lollus hammustab teid tagumikust.

Mitte et ma arvaks nüüd, et Laine Randjärv Töötukassa poole hakkab oma samme seadma või teine mainutud isik puu alla elama koliks, nad jätkavad samamoodi ühes või teises tasuvas ametis. Sest kõik müügiks. Ja mina leian end aina enam mõttelt, et peaks ka poliitikasse minema. Ma ei tee nalja, ma räägin tõsiselt. Ma olen sama loll kui pooled riigikogu liikmed, ma võiks sama edukalt teha nägu, et mu eesmärk oleks midagi muuta ja ära teha. Oot, aga tegelikult ma tahakski midagi muuta ja ära teha? Samas Tanel Talve tahtis ka. No vähemalt saaks ma endale auto osta, sest minu autol läks just kojameeste mootor katki. Vihmase ja lumise ilmaga nii kaugele ei sõua. Kuluhüvitisi ja kohtumisi valijatega oleks  hädasti vaja.

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We were chatting with my girlfriend when we agreed that somebody should write a book about people’s greed and stupidity. Suddenly I remembered that we already have a book that talk about this topic – written by Kivirähk. We were laughing over one member of public about how “he is like modern leprechaun, who crabs hold on to whatever he can, as long as he gets more.” The person has lost his sense of reality because of his greed and cannot understand what is happening in the real world.

In the morning a read an article with one of our former MP Laine Randjärv. I think everyone remembers how not so long ago she justified how she deserves the 12000 euro compensation for the hard work she has done for the past 12 years. To get that, she only had to wait s little bit longer before starting at her new position. If she would start in February, her position as MP would have ended before the time because of “starting in another public position” according to the constitution. She would have not be entitled to receive the compensation anymore. Show me somebody who is fool enough to give up that kind of money? Of course she wanted to start after her time as MP was over, so she could fill her pockets to the max. What happened instead? Well, the missis got a bit too greedy and lost her new position as the head of Estonian Concert because of her games. And now it’s time for her to play a martin. Apparently, she had NO intention to accept the 12000 compensation, her Facebook post was written for totally other reasons and people have misunderstood her, because politicians have the traditional “bad reputation”. She keeps repeating that she “would have not received that compensations” as the contract would have signed before her time as MP had ended. So sad that we have incompetent lawyers working in the parliament as according to them, it is about when you start on the new position and not when you sign the contract.

Because of her stupidity, Laine Randjärv has now become the face of greed. So has the fore mentioned member of public. Modern leprechauns are so blinded by greed and money that they are willing to sell their dignity and what’s even worse – they see themselves as victims! No, you are not the victims. It’s payback time by your own stupidity.

I am not saying that Laine Randjärv will go and claim social benefits or the member of public will become homeless, they will probably find new positions to fill. Because everything is for sale. Which makes me think more often that maybe I should become a politician too. I’m not kidding here. I am as stupid as half of the MP’s, I could as easily pull a face that I want to change something. Wait, but I actually want to change don’t I? At least I could buy myself a new car as on the current one the wipers just stopped from working. I won’t get far in it sif it’s raining or snowing. I desperately need some expenses to be reimbursed and meetings with voters.

 

Kuidas ma muutun?//I would have never though the boost my self-esteem might get, but the boost has been big

/ Eveliis / 15 Comments

Tänu Perekooli Kägudele, kes mulle kogu aeg meelde tuletasid, et ma olen nii kole inimeseloom (välimuselt eelkätt), et kui pimedas vastu tuleksin ehmatan lapsed ära ja üldse oleks minust vaid aus kott peas ringi käia, sest jumala eest, kuidas üks 37aastane naine julgeb välja näha “nagu mu vanaema” ja “50+ aastane”, viskas mul kopa ette ja ma otsustasin Medemis nahakliiniku abiga end muutma hakata.  Ma oleks seda varem juba teinud, aga mingil põhjusel oli minul (ja nagu ma aru olen nüüd saanud ka paljudel teistel) eelarvamus, et botuliinisüstid, IPL fotonoorendus ja laugude korrigeerimine maksab väikese varanduse. Tegelikult on see üllatavalt odav. Oleks pidanud eelarvamuse asemel kodulehelt hindasid vaatama. “Kurjusekortsu” ja otsmiku horisontaaljoonte botuliinisüstid maksavad kokku 349 eurot. Kui mõelda kui palju maksab üks kosmeetiku juures käimine, mille tulemus (olgem ausad on vaid korraks värskem olemine), siis ei saa seda just kuigi kalliks pidada.

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Minult on küsitud hästi palju küsimusi. Eelkätt hinna kohta, mis sai juba vastuse (teistest protseduuridest, mis mind ees ootavad ja palju maksavad, räägin siis kui kord nendeni jõuab), aga ka seda kas valus ei ole. Süst on alati ebamugav, aga valus ei ole see protseduur kindlasti mitte. Esimesed tulemused olid näha kolme päeva pärast ja alguses oli äärmiselt imelik tunne, et otsmiku liigutada ei saanud, aga sellega harjub hästi kiiresti ära.  Meil on kodus nüüd inside joke, et ma teeks imestunud nägu, aga ma ei saa. Kurjuse korts on veel näha, aga see hakkab ka vaikselt ära kaduma, nii et varsti ei saa ma ka kurja nägu teha.

Mult on küsitud, et kas ma ei karda, et olen oma organismi lasknud panna midagi, mis sinna ei kuulu, et kas ma ei karda, et sellel võivad olla mingid tagajärjed. Ma ütlen ausalt, et ma usun, et need kogused on mikroskoopilised ja pealegi kui lugeda uudiseid siis üle päeva muutub midagi tervisele kahjulikuks. Ma ei oska karta. Praekartul pidavat ka vähki tekitama.

Üks natuke naljakas küsimus oli, et kas ma ei kartnud nahakliinikusse minna, et seal töötavad kindlasti beibed, kes kõikidesse, kes imekaunid ei ole, suhtuvad üleolekuga. Suhtumine selles nahakliinikus oma klientidesse on käsi südamel nii meeldiv, et juba selle pärast tasub sinna minna. Toredad, sõbralikud ja äärmiselt professionaalsed inimesed. Ma isegi ei tea, kust inimestel selline naljakas eelarvamus tulla võis.

Minult on küsitud ka, et miks ma midagi ei teinud oma siniste silmaaluste ja suu ümbruse vagudega. Teate, sellega on selline veider lugu, et mu välimuses on otseselt häirinud mind vaid mu rasked silmalaud ja hambad, ma ei ole end otseselt vana ja koledana tundnud, päriselt. Kosmeetikud ja juuksurid on mind vajadusel suutnud piisavalt üles tuunida ja argipäevadel…noh argipäevadel ei pannud ma ise tähele kui kole ma olin. Random fakt: ma ei kasuta igapäevaselt juba aastaid jumestus- ja peitekreeme, kuigi nende abil saaksin ma end ka igapäevaselt kõiksugu kägudele välimuselt vastuvõetavamaks muuta. Mulle meeldib argipäeviti suhteliselt loomulik olla, nii säilib ka mingi põnevus kui on vaja mõne ürituse jaoks end üles lüüa. Mis mulle Medemises ka meeldis oli see, et nad küsisid, mis mind ennast kõige rohkem häirib ja ei hakanud midagi juurde soovitama, mida jällegi paljud on eeldanud, et igal pool raha teenimise eesmärgil tehakse. “Me teeme täpselt nii palju kui klient soovib, ” oli nende kindel seisukoht, “kui hiljem klient leiab, et tahab midagi veel korrigeerida, siis alati saab kõike juurde teha, kuid esimese asjana on meie mõte välimus hoida võimalikult loomulik.” Mulle meeldis nende suhtumine. Ja seepärast ei ole ka mu otsmik sama sile kui 15aastasel, vaid see on loomulikult sile. Kortsud on näha, aga mitte vagudena.

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Kuigi nagu ma ütlesin, ei ole mu välimus mind ennast otseselt seganud, ma olen alati olnud enesekindel ja välimus pole kunagi mind milleski takistanud, aga jaa, kui te küsite, kuidas ma ennast nüüd peale esimest protseduuri tunnen, siis muidugi ütlen ma, et ma tunnen end paremini ja veelgi enesekindlamana. Ma ei oleks uskunud, et see nii palju enesehinnangut tõstab, aga tõstab.

Loomulikult on minult ka küsitud, et aga mis siis saab kui mõju ära kaob. Kas ma siis jäängi ennast nüüd süstima. Vaadake enne ja pärast pilte! Need vist räägivad enda eest. Muidugi jään ma edaspidigi neid süste tegema. Aga kas ma sõltuvust ei karda? Nooh, ega kunagi ei saa 100% kindlusega ju öelda, et ma mingi hetk peast lolliks ei lähe, samas ma ise arvan, et ma olen üsna adekvaatse reaalsustajuga inimene. Pealegi kui rääkida moes olevatest suurtest tagumikest ja suurtest huultest, siis need mõlemad on mul looduse poolt piisavalt lopsakad, et end juba loomulikult moodsana tunda.

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After the constant negative comments at me in our infamous forum Perekool, where I was constantly reminded how ugly I looked, that if you were to meet me in the dark, I would scare the children off. Or I should really be walking around with a bag around my head, because honestly, how does a 37-year old woman dare to look like “my grandmother” and “a 50+ years”. I just had enough at one point and decided to make some changes with the help of Medemis Clinic. I would have done it earlier, but for some reason I was (and now I can see a lot of people were) prejudice that botulinum injection, IPL Photo Rejuvenation and Correction of upper eyelids would cost a small fortune. Surprisingly they are fairly cheap. Instead of being prejudice, I should have just check the pricelist on their website. Getting rid of the frown and horizontal forehead lines costs only 349 euros. If you think how much it costs to get your facial done for just one time, whereas the result is as much permanent as feeling fresh for about an hour, I can’t say it is expensive.

I have been asked many questions about this topic. Mostly about the price which I already told (I will tell more about the other procedures and costs once I have received them). But also whether it is painful. Injection is always uncomfortable, but the procedure itself is not painful. I could see the results already in three days and to be fair, it felt really weird not being able to move your forehead, but you get used to it quickly. We have an inside joke now at home, where I am asked to look surprised, but I can’t. You can still see the frown lines, but these have started to disappear too, so soon I won’t be able to pull an angry face either.

I have been asked whether I am not afraid that after having put something into my body that doesn’t belong there, I might suffer from some consequence. I’m being honest here, by believing that the quantities injected into my body are just too small to have any effect in that sense. Besides, every day there is news about something becoming dangerous to your body. I am not afraid, I don’t know how. They say fried potato can cause cancer too.

There was one funny question about the people working in the clinic – wasn’t I afraid that they will all be tuned up babes, who look down to anyone who is not looking picture perfect. Trust me, that clinic is very kind towards its customers and that alone is a reason enough to visit them. Nice, friendly and very professional staff. I don’t even know, why would anyone think like that.

I have been asked why haven’t I done anything with my blue lower eyelids and corners of the mouth. Well, the funny thing is, that the only area in my face, that has ever bothered me, are my upper eyelids and my teeth. I have never really felt old and tired. If needed,  I have always been scrubbed up by professionals and on normal days … well, I didn’t realize, how ugly I was. Here is some useless information for you – I have not been using foundation for years now though, that would probably make me look much more presentable. I like to look fairly natural in my daily life so when there is an occasion, there is something to look forward to. What I also like about Medemis, is that at the very beginning they asked what was bothering myself the most and didn’t start to suggest more procedures. Contrary to yet another prejudice, when people think this is what clinic do to make more money. “We do as much as the client wishes” is their principle “and if the clients wants to do something more later, it is a possibility. But first and foremost we’d like to keep the appearance as natural as possible.” I like their attitude. And this is why my forehead is not as smooth as a 15-year old would have, but it is naturally smooth. You can see the wrinkles, but they are not as deep.

Although I have said before, that my looks have never really bothered me, I have always been self-confident and my appearance has never stopped me from doing something, I must admit, that after having the first procedure done, I do feel better and even more self-confident. I would have never though the boost my self-esteem might get, but the boost has been big.

Of course I have also been asked, what happens if the injections wear off. Do I need to receive the injections for the rest of my life? Look at the before and after pictures, they speak for themselves! Obviously I will keep receiving the injections. Aren’t I afraid to get addicted? You can never say with a 100% confidence that I will never loose my senses, but I’d like to think I am quite adequate and realistic person. If you hint at the big butts and lips that are in fashion at the minute, then I have them quite lush by nature so I am fashionable already.

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The mental benefits of the sound of silence

/ Eveliis / 6 Comments

Leidsin ühe põneva artikli ja kuna eelmise teemaga läheb nats kokku ka, siis jagan seda teiega ka. Inglisekeelne kahjuks:

This is part of a series looking at micro skills – changes that employees can make to help improve their health and life at work and at home, and employers can make to improve the workplace. The Globe and Mail and Morneau Shepell have created theEmployee Recommended Workplace Award to honour companies that put the health and well-being of their employees first. Register for 2018 atwww.employeerecommended.com.

Did you know that silence is good for your mental health?

Noise is all around most of us for all our waking moments, from the hum of a computer, fans, people and traffic to airplanes landing. Pause for a moment and listen closely to what you hear. Take note as you focus on the different sounds what happens inside of you. If anything changes as you bring the sound forward, you may become distracted until you tune it out again.

Nick Seaver, who does the TEDx talk called The Gift of Silence, begins by displaying 18 seconds of silence to set up the story of where he and his wife spent 18 months in silence. He purports that silence and solitude are the worst form of punishment, because people are left alone with their own minds. Would you agree? Do you find it hard to stop and find quiet and enjoy pure silence?

This micro skill promotes the value of silence. Some may think that we like background noise because we find it soothing. This may be true; however, if the brain is actively processing noise it’s working and as a result it doesn’t get a chance to turn off, rest and reset.

Silence is different than sleep; it’s akin to meditation for the brain. However, different than meditation, we’re left alone to process our thoughts.

It can be hard to escape noise to find silence. Silence is the absence of noise. Adding silence to your day can increase your creativity and decision making that can assist you to solve daily challenges to keep you on track to your desired goals.

One study reported that just two minutes of silence a day can – for some – be more relaxing and helpful than listening to relaxing music. Another study found that increasing periods of silence helps the brain generate new brain cells that can positively support mental health.

Awareness

First, see how difficult it is for you to find a quiet space with the absence of any noise. Once you get there, set your watch for two minutes of silence where you sit in quiet and relax. If you find this difficult, that’s fine. The real first step to adopting silence is noticing it. The more you do, the more likely your brain will be grateful, as well as you and the people around you. Practicing silence is a form of mindfulness where you’re aware and in the moment, open to just pause from the world of noise, and allowing your brain some resources and space. In these moments, you may find more clarity.

Accountability

When some people are learning skills like silence or mindfulness, their brain may not co-operate, resulting in some tension and the brain firing off a mini alarm: “I forgot to call Mary back; I need to text her now that I will call in the morning.”

This micro skill requires practice, patience and the self-discipline that you will accept your first thought. For example, “For the next two minutes I’m going to sit in silence and the world can wait.”

Action

Creating silence action steps:

· Begin with preparation – Determine where your quiet spot will be, and have all distractions like cell phones and telephones turned off. Safe ear plugs and noise cancellation headphones may be helpful for finding silence.

· Set a silence target – Start with short silence sprints of two to three minutes, and build from there.

· Be still and silent – Get into a comfortable position with your eyes open, gazing down at the floor, and allow your mind to do as it pleases. Set no rule other than being still and silent for the targeted silence session. There’s no need for pressure; this isn’t a pass or fail, just silence.

· Ignore the impulse for stimuli – Commit to your silence target without checking texts, e-mail or reading. Just be still and silent with your thoughts. Keep it simple; no distractions.

· Stop and re-enter your world – Once your time is up, get on with your day. With pressure gone, notice how you may have remembered a name you were looking for, found a solution to a particular problem or felt more relaxed after the silence session. This can help your critical conscious brain see the benefits. The more you practice, the more you’ll notice how silence can help you gain new perspectives that were not possible with all the stimuli and noise around you.

ALGALLIKAS: The Globe and Mail

One solution for finding a quiet place to increase your creativity and decision making is Silen Space 

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Foto: K. Haagen

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Foto: K. Haagen

Kas laupäevaõhtused külaskäigud jäävadki lapse ümber keerlema?//Saturday nights and Peter Rabbits

/ Eveliis / 9 Comments

Mingi aeg tagasi kirjutas Marimell, et neil on sõpradega nii vedanud, et kõikidele meeldib Hedoniga mängida ja aega veeta, et kui on külalised, siis ei ole vahet, kes temaga parasjagu tegeleb. See väide tekitas minus vastakaid tundeid. Meil on ka vedanud, et meie sõpradele meeldib Idaga tegeleda, kuigi olgem ausad, ma ei suudaks ka väga sõber olla inimestega, kellele mu laps ei meeldiks, ja milline sõber üldse ütleks, et kuule ma tuleks küll külla, aga su laps käib mulle ilgelt närvidele.

Ida on ainus laps ja  mina see halb vanem, kes piisavalt temaga ei meisterda ja ei mängi, nii et on täiesti arusaadav, et ta muutub hüperaktiivseks, edvistavaks ja tahab tähelepanu kui keegi külla tuleb. Kõige hullemaks muutub ta koos Jaagupi, Klaudia ja mu õega. Mitte halvas mõttes tegelikult, ta lihtsalt fännab neid ja ootab neid külla, et kui nad lõpuks kohale jõuavad, siis ripub ta neil seljas ja kaelas, tahab nendega mängida, nendele kõiki oma asju näidata.

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Üks osa minust tahab Idat kogu aeg keelata, sest ma ei taha, et ta need inimesed surmani ära tüütab. Teine osa minust mõtleb, et nad on ju suured inimesed ja oskavad ise su lahti teha ning öelda kui nad enam ei viitsi. Kolmas osa minust kahtleb, et aga äkki nad ei julge. Neljas osa minust muutub mugavaks ja naudib seda, et ma ei pea ise jooksma iga Ida soovi peale. Viies osa minust muutub ülbeks ja ütleb Idale, et mine, las Klaudia/Jaagup/Marian aitab sind. Kuues osa minust on tüdinenud, et kõik mu täiskasvanud sõprade külaskäigud keerlevad ümber lapse. Ma saan aru, et kui üks ainus laps on täiskasvanute seltskonnas, siis paratamatult läheb suur osa tähelepanust lapsele, aga püha jeesus see on ju nii tüütu. Jällegi, mitte otseselt halvas mõttes, aga…Ma ei oska seda isegi seletada, toon ühe näite.

Meil olid eile külalised. Loomulikult tähendas see seda, et Ida edvistas ja eputas ning tahtis nende tähelepanu, me rääkisime lasteaiast, trennidest, laste iseloomudest, Ida naljadest, mina sain rahulikumalt istuda ja veini juua, samal ajal kui mu õde pidi trepist üles ja alla jooksma, sest Ida tahtis talle 789364982 asja näidata. Ei saa ju tegelikult pahaks panna ja tegelikult oli ju väga tore. Ausalt, mul ei ole midagi selle vastu, et laupäeva õhtul plastiliinist kooki süüa ja “Peeter Pikk-kõrva” vaadata, kõik me vaatasime seda hea meelega (hea, et mu sõbrad-tuttavad-pere on laias laastus sama lapsemeelne kui mina, kes multikaid ja koguperefilme naudib), kuid osake minust tunneb puudust sellest ajast kui laupäevaõhtu ei keerelnud vaid ümber lapse ja multikate. Muidugi on siin kindlasti oluline osa sellel, et me laseme Idal sellistes situatsioonides füürer olla (issand, ärge hakkake mind siin selle sõna kasutuse pärast kasvatama), aga ma ÜHE lapse vanemana mõistan Idat.  Muidugi on tal üksinda igav, muidugi ta tahab tähelepanu.  Ma peaks rohkem lastega sõpradel-tuttavatel paluma külas käia, sest ma olen tõesti ise kehv mängija ning teengi sellega endale karuteene kui täiskasvanud sõbrad külla tulevad, aga ega siin metsas elamisel on ka oma miinused. Kes see viitsib tund aega sõita? Meie ühed parimad (samavanuse lapsega) sõbrad elavad Meriväljal. No reaalselt kaugemale enam ei saaks ju sõita külla! Ja ega need Tallinnas elavad sõbrad ka liiga lähedal ei ole. Muidugi, puhas laiskus minu poolt, aga teate kui ma pool oma ajast veedan reisides (eriti tihedad tulevad nüüd järgnevad kuud), siis ma tahan kodus olla. OMA kodus.

No vot. Nii tekibki olukord, et kui tulevad külalised, keerleb 70% ajast ümber Ida. Ega ma ei taha see kanaema olla, kes vaid lapsest räägib ja ega ma ei taha oma tuttavaid-sõpru ära tüüdata lapsega, aga üksiku lapse sündroom + laisa/mugava vanema sündroom löövad välja. Kas nüüd ongi nii, et kuna on üks laps, siis külaskäigud jäävadki lapse ümber keerlema? Kui ma ennast ei muuda?

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A little while back one blogger wrote how they are very lucky to have friends who enjoy spending time and playing with their son Hedon and when they have guests, it doesn’t matter who is occupied with him at any particular moment. This statement gave me mixed emotions. We are lucky too to have friends who love spending time with Ida, but let’s be honest, I can’t really be friends with a person who didn’t like my child. What sort of friend would say anyway that “he would gladly come over, but my kid is really annoying?”

Ida is an only child and I am that bad parent, who doesn’t do different DYI projects with her or play different games, so it is understandable that she becomes hyperactive, starts to show off and seeks for attention when we have guests over. She gets the worse with Jaagup, Klaudia and my sister. Not in a bad way, but she is a really big fan of them and cannot wait for their visit so when they do finally arrive, she is glued to them, wants to play with them the whole time and show every single thing she has.

One part of me wants to restrain her all the time, because I don’t want her to get on people’s nerves. But then I think we are talking about adults and they are capable of opening their mouth and say when they have had enough. Another part of me wonders if they dare to say anything, but I must admit, I do enjoy when I don’t have to run for every single wish she has. A part of me becomes arrogant and tells her to go Jaagub/Klaudi/ Marian to get help. And then I become fed up with the fact that all my adult friends are buzzing around her when they come for a visit. I can understand that as an only child surrounded by adults, she will get the majority of attention, but my god … HOW annoying is that? Again, not in a bad way, but … I cannot even explain, I’ll describe a situation.

We had guests last weekend. Of course it meant Ida showing off and looking for their attention. We spoke about nursery, afterschool activities, children’s characters, Ida’s jokes. I was able to sit and have a glass of wine while my sister was running up and down the stairs, because Ida had something to show her all the time. You can’t really blame her and all in all the evening turned out really well. Honestly, I have nothing against eating playdough cake and watch cartoons on Saturday evening, we all enjoyed “Peter the Rabbit” (I’m glad my friends still have their inner child with them), but a part of me misses the times when Saturday evenings wasn’t about the child and her cartoons. If I’m honest, then it is mostly because we let her act like a fyrir (please don’t start to educate me about using this word), but as a parent of ONE child I understand Ida. Of course she is bored on her own, of course she seeks for attention. I should really invite over friends with kids more often, because I really am bad when it comes to game time with Ida and it doesn’t help having grown ups here playing with her either. It’s not all fun and games when you live in the middle of a forest you know. Who can be bothered spending one hour to visit us? One of our best friends (who have a child same age as Ida), live on the other side of Tallinn. Seriously, it can’t be any further than that! And the friends living in Tallinn are not that close after all. Of course, this is mostly my laziness talking here, but if I spend half of my time travelling (especially the next few months), then I want to be home. In MY home.

So there you go, this is why we have end up in a situation, where having somebody visiting us means spending 70% of the time with Ida. I don’t want to be that mum, who only speaks about her child and I don’t want to bore my friends out with Ida, but the combo of being an only child and being a lazy/convenient parent is the reason for this all. Will Saturday evenings always be about the child from now on? If I don’t change myself?

“Aga teeme nii, et see on natuke meie kodu ka!”// One of the most wonderful places in the world

/ Eveliis / 2 Comments

Istume Idaga hytta terrassil. “Emme, kas see on meie kodu?” küsib ta.

“Ei, see on Satu kodu, aga meie võime siin puhata,” vastan.

“Aga kunagi kui ma beebi olin, siis see oli minu kodu,” ütleb Ida ja vaatab mõtleva pilguga ringi. 

“Jah,” noogutan ma, “kui sa beebi olid, siis me elasime siin, aga tegelikult see on ikka tädi Satu kodu.”

Ida noogutab. Ütleb “mhm” ja lisab siis: “Aga teeme nii, et see on natuke meie kodu ikka ka, et siis meil kõigil on kaks kodu!”

Naiivne jutuajamine, aga samas polegi otseselt nii vale.

Meil on au, uhkus ja õnn seda imelist kohta tõepoolest poole kohaga oma koduks nimetada. Muidugi on Ussipesa meile ülekõige armas, kuid iga kord kui me hytta´sse tuleme valdab mind nii meeletu tänutunne. Tänutunne, et keegi on meid niivõrd usaldanud, et oma kodu meile koduks andnud; tänutunne, et meil on võimalus siia alati puhkama tulla; tänutunne, et me paar aastat tagasi juhuslikult saime tuttavaks inimesega, kellest sai meie pereliige või kes meid võtab kui pereliikmeid; tänutunne, et selline paik olemas on.

Ma võin ausalt öelda, et pildid ja sõnad ei anna edasi pooltki, et kirjeldada seda kui maagiline ja muinasjutuline on see paik. Iga ilmaga. Paar päeva tagasi oli päikeseline hilisuvi. Imeilus. Täna on sügistormine varasügis. Imeilus. Järgmine kord kui me siia tuleme on võib olla juba talv…

Eelmisest postitusest ajendatuna siis ma usun vaat et parem kui lehma lellepoja poolt päranduseks saadav Balil asuv villa   on see võimalus, mis meile siin on antud. Võimalus selles kohas elada ja puhata, teha siin oma mälestusi. Maailma üks imelisemaid paikasid!

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We are sitting on hytta’s balcony. “Mummy, is this our home?” she asks.

 “No, this is Satu’s home, but we can have a holiday here,” I reply.

 “But when I was baby, this was my home,” says Ida and looks thoughtfully around.

 “Yes,” I nod, “when you were a baby, we lived here, but it is still aunty Satu’s home.”

 Ida nods. Says “mhm” and adds: “But let’s pretend that this is a bit our home too, so we all have two homes!”

 Very naïve conversation, that is not so wrong after all.

 We have the honor, privilege  and luck to call this place our second home. Of course, Ussipesa is above everything our favorite place, but every time we come to hytta, I feel very grateful. I am so grateful that somebody trusts us that much to give her home for us to use as our home; grateful, that we can always come here for a holiday; grateful to have met this person couple of years ago by accident, who by now has become a part of our family and who sees us as her family; grateful that this place exists.

 I can assure that the pictures and words will not be able to describe even half of HOW magical this place is. No matter what the weather is. Couple of days ago it was sunny and warm like late summer. Very beautiful. Today is stormy autumn. Very beautiful. Next time when we come, it might already be winter …

 I believe that having the opportunity to call a place like this your second home is so much more valuable than inheriting a big villa from an uncle you never knew. The opportunity to live here and relax, make our memories. One of the most wonderful places in the world.

 

 

 

Aitäh, Perekool! Siiralt aitäh!// This is why she looks 15 years older, I really though she is 45+ and not 35

/ Eveliis / 32 Comments

Et kõik ausalt ära rääkida pean ma alustama kaugemalt. Läheme ajas tagasi nii umbes 17-18 aastat. See oli aeg kui popp oli olla pruun. Ja mitte saada pruuniks teiseks juuliks, vaid olla pruun. Kogu aeg. Päike oli mu parim sõber. Ma olin igal vabal hetkel päikse käes siruli. Päikesekaitsekreemi ei ole ma oma elus kunagi kasutanud. Tädi Helju (tark naine!) ütles mulle kogu aeg – Eveliis, ära päevita, see ei ole kasulik, nahk läheb vanaks ja kortsu. Kas ma kuulasin teda? Ei, muidugi mitte. Lisaks hakkasin ma hoopis solaariumis käima.

Umbes 18-aastaselt hakkasin ma suitsetama. Suitsetasin kuni ma rasedaks jäin. Lihtne matemaatika ütleb, see teeb 15 aastat. Ülikooli ajal olin ma kõva pidutseja. Kõik olid. Kolmapäeval, neljapäeval, laupäeval klubis. Nädalast nädalasse. Kõik käisid. Varahommikuni klubis. Natuke magada. Loengusse. Ja nii see trall kestis aastaid.

Tädi rääkis mulle, et oota kuni 35 saad, siis hakkad vananema ja nägema, mida päike ja vähene magamine teeb. Mis te arvate, mis ma talle vastasin? Pähh, suva, 35-aastaselt ma olen nii vana, et vahet enam pole, milline ma välja näen. Tunnistage ausalt, 20-aastaselt tundus teile ka, et 35-aastane on ikka jõhkralt vana.

Ootamatult sai 20-aastasest minust 37-aastane. Peegel on mul olemas ja kuigi ma enam ammu ei päevita, ei suitseta juba neli aastat, pidutsemisest ei tea ma suurt midagi, on mul nagu öeldud kodus peegel ja ma näen, et kõik see on oma jälje jätnud. Lisaks ilmselt ongi mul ka selline nahk, mis kiiremini kortsu läheb. Rasked silmalaud olen ma isapoolselt suguvõsalt pärinud. Just eile vaatasin isa pulmapilti ja kuigi ma leian, et mu isa on täiega kena mees, siis ma nägin ka oma silmalaugude tulevikku. Kortsudest ja silmalaugudest hoolimata ei ole mul enesekindlusega kunagi probleeme olnud ja nii ei ole ma end kordagi veel vanana või koledana tundnud. Muidugi olen ma mõelnud, et ühel hetkel ei välista ma ei süste ega võib olla isegi lõikusi, aga ma mõelnud selle peale veel väga. Ei lasknud end häirida. Avaliku blogijana, kelle mõnikord teravaid arvamusi loevad päevas tuhanded inimesed, kuulub minu ellu ka kriitika. Aastatega on mulle paks nahk (sõna otseses mõttes ka) selga kasvanud, suur osa asjadest läheb ühest kõrvast sisse ja teisest välja, kuid osa kriitikast paneb ikka mõtlema. Ja kui päevast päeva kuulda kommentaare oma välimuse kohta, siis see hakkab ikkagi mõjutama. Hakkadki mõtlema, et aga kui vana ma siis tegelikult teiste arvates välja näen?

Läksin ekstra õhtul Perekooli foorumisse, et mõned näited leida. Ei pidanud palju otsima, sest üks viimase aja populaarsemaid arutelusid Malluka autokooli kõrval oli just minu välimus:

  • Eks ta sellepärast on vanusest 15a vanem välja näebki, ma tõsimeeli arvasin, et tegu on 45+ inimesega, aga et 35a seda ei arvaks elus.
  • Pidev ving, irin, negativism, rahulolematus kõige ja kõigiga muudab ka inimese vanemaks.
  •  Tema on üks neist kes kohe kindlasti näeb oma east tunduvalt vanem välja. Ta ise teab seda ka ja laseb ennast enamasti päikseprillidega pildistada.
  • Ma olen sama vana, kui tema aga selline tädi küll välja ei näe.
  • Nii kaugelt näeb mu vanaema ka 35a välja
  • Karm.Mõne vastu on ikka elu väga ebaõiglane. Või on ta siis ise kõik teinud, et nii kehv välja näeb. Seda viimast ma väga ei usu, järelikult ikka totaalne ebaõnn.
  • Kaldun arvama, et Seljakoti kiire visuaalne vananemine on tulnud sellest, et ta on oma näolihased “kandnud” selliseks. Hoidnud pidevalt nägu pinges, krimpsus, mossis ja üleüldine rahulolematus – selline näolihaste hoiak ongi nüüdseks jätnud püsiva jälje näkku. Ma teeks tema asemel kodus näkku kupumassaaži või tavalist massaaži, lõdvestab lihaspinget näos.

See on vaid üks lehekülg kommentaare. Ma ei oleks kunagi uskunud, et ma ütlen  aitäh kõikidele Perekooli kägudele, sest kui te poleks mu välimust järjepidevalt kommenteerinud, ei oleks ma Medemis Clinic´u poole pöördunud. Esialgu konsultatsiooni sooviga, aga kõik läks nii kiiresti, et juba esimesel kohtumisel üleeile panime me paika, mida minu näoga teha võiks ja juba eile käisin ma esimesel protseduuril – otsmiku horisontaalkortsude ja “kurjusekortsu” botuliinisüste tegemas. Teate, mis on naljakas? Kui ma konsultatsioonile läksin, anti mulle kätte peegel ja küsiti, et mis sind siis kõige rohkem häirib. Ma pidin ausalt vastama, et tegelikult ei häirigi mind otseselt midagi, aga kuna tänapäeval on olemas kõik võimalused, et parem välja näha, siis miks kannatada kommentaare ja näha (väidetavalt) vanem välja kui 37. Kokku sai konsultatsioonil lepitud, et teeme kolm protseduuri: botuliinisüstid, korrigeerime ülalaud ja protseduuride vahele teeme ka IPL fotonoorenduse kuuri, et eemaldada pigmendilaigud ja parandada naha üldist toonust. Ajaraamiselt peaksin ma saama teile enne ja pärast pilte näidata veebruaris.

Süstide mõju peaks avalduma näha olema kahe nädala jooksul, kuid teate, ma tundsin end juba eile kuidagi uuesti sündinuna. Mul oli hea meel, et ma selle sammu ette võtsin. Marek naeris kodus, et ju mul ikka kusagil mingi silmarõõm on, et no kelle nimel ma siis nüüd pingutan, et ega ju ometi oma mehe jaoks. Osaliselt on tal õigus, et jah, esimese asjana mõtlesin ma loomulikult enda peale. Oma enesekindluse tõstmise peale. Aga võimalikest silmarõõmudest on mul ükskõik ja teine osa minust mõtles just oma mehe peale. Küllalt on neid naisi, kes keskea saabudes oma välimuse käest ära lasevad ja siis pärast krokodillipisaraid valavad, et mees teisi vaatab. Ei, minu abikaasa ei ole selline, kes vaid inimese välimust hindab, tema esimene reaktsioon oli “aga mind ei ole ju sinu kortsud kunagi häirinud?”, kuid kui silmarõõmude ja muud naljad kõrvale jätta, siis sai temagi aru, miks ma Medemisse pöördusin.

Hoidke siis nüüd pilk peal blogil kui tahate samm-sammult näha, mis edasi toimuma hakkab. Kogu teekond saab teoks tänu koostööle Medemis nahakliinikuga.

*Pealkiri on siiski kerge sarkasminoodiga öeldud. Ega see välimuse kallal tänitamine midagi tänuväärset just pole.

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To be completely honest with you, I have to go back in time, about 17-18 years. That was the time when being tanned was pop. And not being tanned only in summer time, but to be proper dark. ALL the time. The sun was my friend. I used to sunbathe whenever I could. I was never using sun lotion. Aunty Helju (a wise woman may I add) told me all the time – Eveliis, don’t sunbathe, it’s not good for you. Your skin will get old and wrinkly. Did I listen to her? No, of course not. Instead, I started to visit sun beds more often.

At the age of about 18 I started smoking and I was doing that until becoming pregnant. Simple calculation says that was 15 years all together. In uni I was also a party animal. Everyone was. Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday night was about clubing. From week to week. Everyone was. Dancing in nightclubs until early morning. You had a couple of hours nap, then rushed into lecture. And like that for years.

Aunty warned me to wait until I turn 35, when I will start getting older and see the results of what sun and lack of sleep can do. What do you think I replied to her? Heh, I don’t care, at 35 I’m so old that it doesn’t matter how I look. Be honest, even you felt at the age of 20 that 35 is seriously old.

Before I realized, 20-year old me had turned 37. I do own mirrors and though I haven’t sunbathed for a long time, have lived smoke-free life for four years, and don’t know the meaning of the word partying, like I said I have mirrors at home and I can see the outcome of all the above. Probably I also have the sort of skin that wrinkles quicker and easier. Heavy eyelids are inheritance from my dad’s side of the family. I was actually looking at his wedding picture recently and I must admit, though my dad is a gorgeous looking man, I could see the future of my eyelids. Despite the wrinkles and the heavy eyelids, I have never had problems with self-confidence and I have never felt old or ugly. Of course I have had thoughts about injections or operations, but never too deep or serious. I wasn’t bothered. Being a public blogger, whose sometimes very sharp opinions are read by thousands of people a day, criticism has become a part of my life. Over the years I have become thick skinned (literally), so majority of it all just comes and goes. But there are some sayings that make me think and if you hear comments about your looks on a daily basis, it will start to effect. And you start to think HOW old do I look then?

I extra went to internet forum to find some examples, which wasn’t really that hard as one of most popular discussion was actually about my looks:

  • This is why she looks 15 years older, I really though she is 45+ and not 35.
  • Constant whining, negativism, dissatisfaction with everything and everyone makes people look older as well.
  • She is definitely one of those, who appears older than she really is. She knows it and that’s why she is usually wearing sun glasses on photos.
  • I am the same age as her, but don’t look an oldie as she does.
  • From a distance even my grandmother looks 35.
  • Tough. Life is so un-fare to some people. Or maybe she has done everything she can to look so bad. I don’t believe the latter, so it must be total lack of luck.
  • I think that the visual quick aging of Backpack is because she “has worn” her facial muscles like that. Having her face constantly tensed up, wrinkling, sulking and general resentment – the facial muscles remember this position and have now stayed like this. If I was her, I would give my face cup massage at home. Or even normal massage would help to ease the tensions in face.

This is only one page worth of commentaries. I would have never thought this, but I sincerely have to say THANK YOU to you all in the forum. If you hadn’t constantly criticized my looks, I would never have gone to Medemis Clinic. At first I went there only to have a simple consultation. But everything moved so fast, that on the first appointment on Wednesday we came up with the plan on what to do with my face and already on Thursday I went for my first procedure – botulinum injections into forehead. You know what is funny? When I went for my consultation, they gave me a mirror with a question – what is bothering me the most? I had to be honest and say that nothing is really bothering, but as now days we have the possibility to look better, then why put up with the comments and (supposedly) look older than 37. We agreed on the consultation to do three procedures – botulinum injections, correcting eyelids and in between these two procedures also carry out IPL photorejuvenation cure to remove pigmented spots and improve the general health of my facial skin. In theory I should be able to show you before and after pictures in February.

The effect from injections should be visible in two weeks, but I felt like a new born already on the same day. I was so glad to have decided and do this. Marek was laughing at home that I must have feast for eyes somewhere, because of whom I am doing all this as obviously I am not doing this for my husband. He is right, partially, as first and foremost I was thinking about myself to raise the level of my self-confidence. And of course I was thinking about my husband. I don’t care about any feasts for eyes. There is far to many women, who stop taking care of themselves when mid-life arrives and cry later, because the partner/husband is looking at other women. No, my husband is not one of those, who only appreciates the look. His first reaction was “but I have never been bothered by your wrinkles”. In the end though, if we leave out all these jokes about feasts for eyes, then even he understood why I went to Medemis.

Keep an eye on the blog now if you want to see step-by-step what is going to happen. All this journey will be happening thanks to the co-operation with Medemis.

* The title is written with sarcastic tone in it. In the end of the day, it is not nice to hear criticism about you and your looks.

Kuidas lohutada last, kes ei saanud sünnipäevakutset?// How to comfort a child that did not get invited to a birthday party?

/ Eveliis / 83 Comments

Kui ma Idale täna lasteaeda järgi läksin, küsis ta minult, kas lähme ühe tema rühma tüdruku sünnipäevale. Vastasin, et ma ei usu, et sellel tüdrukul sünnipäev täna on ja vaevalt keegi esmaspäeva õhtul sünnipäeva peab. Idale nimelt meeldib sünnipäeva mängida ja nii ma arvasin esialgu, et tegu on mänguga. Ida jäi endale kindlaks, et tüdruk olla teda sünnipäevale kutsunud, ühte mängutuppa ja palus mind, et ma teda lubaksin. “Palun, emmmmme, paluuuuuun!” Sai selgeks. et tüdrukul oli tõepoolest sünnipäev täna. Mingi päev olid osad lapsed rühmas kutsed saanud, tüdruk oli rühmas jaganud. Kas kõik peale Ida said või kes said, ei teadnud mina ega õpetaja. Asi polegi tegelikult selles.

Mina olen veendumusel, et lasteaiarühmas tuleb kutsuda kõik lapsed, seda lihtsalt põhjusel, et minu arvates ei saa lapsed veel täpselt aru ei ajast ega sellest, kes parasjagu sõbrad on. Üks päev üks ja teine päev teine. Mina lapsevanemana ka ei tea, kes sõber on, lihtsam, nii et keegi ei tunneks end kõrvale jäetuna, on minu jaoks kutsuda kõik. Ma rõhutan, et kõikide laste kutsumine on MINU jaoks loogiline. Ma ei taha öelda, et kõik vanemad peavad kõik lapsed kutsuma. Küll aga tahan ma öelda, et lapsed tuleb kutsuda nii, et keegi ei tunneks end kõrvaletõrjutuna.

Niisiis tagasi Ida juurde. Laps palub mind pisarsilmil, et ta võiks tüdruku sünnipäevale minna. Nutab hüsteeriliselt, et aga tüdruk ütles, et tal on täna sünnipäev ja seal mängutoas. Ma selgitan, et kui kutset ei ole saanud, siis me ei saa lihtsalt sünnipäevale minna. Laps nutab ja nutab ega saa aru. Õpetaja selgitab, et alati pole kõik kutsutud ja võib olla on tüdrukul sünnipäev oma sugulastega. Tuleb teisi sünnipäevi, teiste laste omasid. Pole hullu. Aga lapse jaoks on hullu. Kuidas lohutada last, kes ei saanud sünnipäevakutset?

On minu kui lapsevanema kohus last lohutada ja talle õpetada, kuidas asjad käivad. Ma ei olnud selleks nii ootamatult valmis. Murtud südamega laps teeb iga lapsevanema õnnetuks ja minusuguse kogenematu vanema ka kohmetuks, ma lähen segadusse. Laps karjub minu peale, peksab mind kätega, et miks ma ei luba tal sünnipäevale minna. Üks osa minust tahab endast välja minna. Mina ei ole ju süüdi. Teine osa tuletab meelde, et “sa pead jääma rahulikuks, sa pead jääma rahulikuks, kallista oma last”. Tema ei ole ju süüdi. Koju jõudes on laps maha rahunenud, ei saa veel ikka täpselt aru, miks kõik ei ole kutsutud. Ta ei peagi aru saama, ta on laps.

Aga aru peaksid saama vanemad, kes lasteaeda sünnipäeva kutsed kaasa annavad ja lasevad neid niimoodi jagada. Mulle tuli kohe silme ette klassikaline noortekomöödia, kus kisakooritüdrukud valivad, keda peole kutsutakse. Kallis lapsevanem, mõtle selle peale. Täna on sinu laps võib olla see kisakooritüdruk, kes rõõmsalt kutseid jagab. Homme võib ta olla see laps, kes kutset ei saa. Kas sa tahaksid siis, et kutse saanud lapsed tema nina all lehvitaksid? Lapsed võtavad asju palju rohkem hinge. Nende jaoks võib tühine sünnipäeva kutse tähendada maailma kokku varisemist. Isegi kui omavahel polda parimad sõbrad. Kallis lapsevanem, mõtle erinevate olukordade peale. Pane end laste kingadesse!  Poeta kutse kappi! Saada kutse meili teel! Kallis lapsevanem, seda ei ole ju nii palju palutud, et sa teiste laste tunnetega arvestaksid?

//

When I went to pick up Ida today from the nursery, she asked if we were going to one girl’s birthday. I doubted as I didn’t think the girl had birthday today and no one really celebrates their birthday on Monday. And that is how I explained it to her. The thing is, Ida likes playing birthday, so I assumed at first that she was playing again. But she was determined, that the girl invited her to the party, to a soft play room, and begged me to let her go. “Please, mummy, pleeeease!” It turned out the girl really had birthday today. Few days back, some of the children had received an invitation when she was handing them out. Did everyone receive it beside Ida or who did, I didn’t know. Nor did the teacher. This is not the point though.

I’m convinced that while in nursery you should invite everyone to your part, only because children at that age don’t understand the concept of time and friendship. They are friends with one child today, and tomorrow with somebody else. I, as a parent, am not sure who is a friend at this particular moment. Therefore it would be easier for me to invite everybody so no one was left out. I need to stress here, that inviting everybody seems logical TO ME. I am not saying that every parent should do the same, but I do think children should be invited so as not make anyone feeling left out.

Now, back to Ida. She is begging me with tears in her eyes, that she could go to the party. She is getting hysterical, because the girl said she has birthday today in this play room. I am trying to explain that if you didn’t get an invitation, you cannot just show up. She keeps crying and doesn’t understand. The teacher explains that not always everyone is invited and maybe she is celebrating with her family this time. There will be other parties for other children. It’s not the end of the world. How do you comfort a child who didn’t get invited to a birthday party?

It is my duty as a parent to comfort my child and teacher her how things work. I wasn’t prepared for it. A child with a broken heart makes any parent sad and an inexperienced parent like myself, also feeling awkward, I get confused. The child is screaming at me and beating, because I’m not letting her go to that party. One part of me wants to get pissed off. This is not my fault. Other part reminds me to stay calm, to hug her. This is not her fault. By the time we arrived home, she had calmed down, but still didn’t understand why everyone is not invited. She doesn’t have to, she is only a child.

But the parents, who send the invitations to the nursery for handing out, should understand. For some reason, an image of a classical comedy where cheerleaders are choosing whom to invite to a party, pops into my head. Dear parent, think about it. Today, your child is the cheerleader handing out the invitations. But tomorrow she might not get invited. Would you want other children with the invitations rub it under her nose? Children take things into heart so much harder. For them, not getting a simple invitation might mean the end of the world. Even if they are not the best friends. Dear parent, please think of different situations. Put yourself into their shoes! Put the invitation into locker. Send it via email. Dear parent, it is not a lot to ask to be more considerate with other children’s feelings.

 

“Sellise ilmaga me küll Lottemaale ei lähe!”//“Never forget that little child inside of you, that’s the key.“

/ Eveliis / Leave a comment

…ütleks ilmselt iga teine lapsevanem kui oleks täna aknast välja vaadanud ja näinud, et vihma sajab nagu oavarrest, täpsemalt öelda vihma kallas nagu ämbrist. Aga meie ei öelnud nii, sest me olime kokku leppinud, et kui Norrast tagasi oleme, siis läheme ja kuna me ilmateadet ei vaadanud, siis sai laupäeva ja pühapäeva asemel kokku lepitud esmaspäev. Ida vaatas eile isegi Lotte multikaid, et kuidas sa ikka ilma multikaid vaatamata lähed. “Me ju lähme?” küsis temagi kui aknast välja vaatas hommikul. Lubadus on lubadus, eriti lapsele tehtud lubadus, ja nii me autosse istusime ja Lottemaa poole liikuma hakkasime. Irooniline on muidugi see, et ma olen ise alati rääkinud, et pole halba ilma, vaid kehv riietus, aga täna hommikul avastasime, et ega mul endal ja ka Marekil vihmariietega väga priisata polnudki. Peaasi, et Idal oli.

Etteruttavalt ütlen ma, et ega lapsi ei sega vihm grammivõrdki. Neil on pigem isegi lõbus, põnevam. Täiskasvanud saavad ka hakkama. Tuleb vaid meeles pidada ühte lihtsat asja: “Ära kunagi unusta oma lapsemeelsust, see on kõige olulisem asi!”. Kui Pärnu poole sõites ma ikka lootsin, et ehk vihma jääb vähemaks, siis Lottemaale jõudes vaatasin ma yr.no-st, et see on täna tõeliselt naiivne lootus, nüüd aitas vaid hea tuju ja lapsemeelsus. Hea tuju…hmmm… Ma pean ausalt tunnistama, et me ei ole ideaalperekond – me kakleme, nääkleme, tülitseme, tujutseme ja jonnime – me ei püüagi olla ja nii saime me ka seekord natukene jonnida, igaüks erineval põhjusel, kuid hea tuju ja lapsemeelsus tulevad kohe meelde ja ajavad jonnipilved eemale kui vaatad heatujulisi Lottemaa tegelasi. Täiesti uskumatud näitlejad. Isegi paduvihmas ei tee nad allahindlust ja annavad endast 100%, võib olla isegi rohkem kui sada, sest nad ei taha, et ilm külastajate kogemuse rikuks. “Plaksutage vihmale! Nii tore, et vihma sajab! Meil on vihmas tore!” hüüdsid nad ise jalgupidi veelompides liugu lastes. Ja oligi tore!

Muidugi saan ma aru, et päikeselise ilmaga on Lottemaa veeeeeeel võrratum, aga ma vannun teile käsi südamel, vihm ei ole põhjus jätta plaanitud Lottemaale minekut ära. Piisavalt palju on võimalusi varju all tegevusteks ja majades vihma ei saja;) Me lasime isegi liumäest alla. Talvel sai lubatud, et kui suvel lähme, siis laseme, no mis meil siis üle jäi. Marek vaatas küll mulle otsa nagu totakale, et kas ma unustan aegajalt ära, et olen 37-aastane, aga Lottemaal ongi lihtne oma vanus ära unustada. See on nii tore koht, mida ma külastaks veelgi tihedamini.* Ma olen täielik Lottemaa fänn! Muide, kui ma aastaid tagasi lugesin kuidas blogijad Lottemaad kiitsid, olin ma kindel, et nad pingutavad üle või valetavad, sest no mis seal ikka nii toredat saab olla. Täiskasvanule. Ma ei olnud kuulnud sõnagi kriitikat ja see tegi skeptiliseks. Täiesti ilmaasjata. Assaaa, karvane maasika musi, kui kihvt koht on Lotte(maa). Meie oma Nokia.

Nüüd olen ma kuulnud ka kriitikat. Esiteks, et on kallis. Jah, ma ei vaidle üldse vastu, et ei ole. On ikka. Aga jällegi toome võrdluse – suvaline nädalavahetuse laat mõned tunnid vähemalt 25 eurot laste lõbustustele, Lottemaa terve päev tegevusi ja teatrit 20 eurot. Teiseks, et on igav. Seda ütlevad ilmselt need, kes ootavad ameerika-mäed-tüüpi lõbustusparki. Lottemaal on nii palju avastamist ja tegevust. Jah, jällegi majad saab läbi käia poole tunniga, vaadata leiutisi ja kehitada õlgu, sest need ei sülga tuld ega purska vett, aga kui uudistada ja leiutada on tegevust kõigile ja kauemaks. Mulle meeldib Lottemaa hariv pool. Ei ole niisama lust ja lull, vaid õppimine läbi lusti ja lulli. Kolmandaks, et asjad on kulunud ja ei tööta. Eks asjad ikka kuluvad, aga öelda, et Lottemaa on kulunud on mu meelest häbematu. Ei tööta? Võib olla see sama, et ei purska vett ja sülga tuld? Kivirähki “Oskar ja asjad” olete lugenud? Ilma mobiiltelefonita maale vanaema juurde saadetud Oskar pidi leidma asendustegevusi ja avastas, et  kõik asjad ümber tema oskasid rääkida. Vaja oli vaid kujutlusvõimet. Lottemaaga on sama – lapsemeelsus, kujutlusvõime ja uudishimu ning te veedate seal imeliselt aega. Tahate tagasi!

Tahate ma avaldan teile ka ühe saladuse, mis me täna avastasime? Vihmasel ilmal on paar eelist ka.  Tegelastel on teie jaoks rohkem aega. Järjekordi pole. Kuigi ärge arvake, et rahvast üldse pole, oli rohkem kui ma oleksin oodata osanud.

Lottemaa on on avatud 2.09-ni. Minge! Iga ilmaga! Aga kui saate, jääge Pärnusse ka ööseks. Päev on väsitav ja palju mõnusam oleks peale seiklust hotellitoas voodisse pikali visata kui autoga 96 kilomeetrit Tallinnasse tagasi sõita. Et homme ka tööpäev peab olema, eksju.

Koju tagasi jōudes tunnistas ka Marek, et oli täitsa õige otsus täna minna. “A mis me ikka sellise ilmaga kodus teinud oleks?” No just noh. Tundes Marekit, oleks ta meid koristama pannud. Ja kes see taasiseseisvumispäeva koristades tähistab. 🤗

*Võib olla võiks Lottemaal ka olla hooaja-pilet? Näiteks Hunderfossenisse sai enne jõule soetada järgmise suve hooajapileti, mis oli ca 15-20 euri kallim kui ühe korra pilet.

We are not going to Lottemaa in this weather …

… would have probably been almost every parent’s answer when they looked out from the window this morning only to see heavy rain. But we didn’t , because we had agreed that once we are back from Norway, we will go. As we didn’t check at the weather forecast for the long weekend, we agreed to go on Monday. Ida was even watching Lotte cartoons yesterday, because you need to see them before going. „We ARE still going, aren’t we?“ was her question this morning too. A promise is a promise, especially a promise made to a child, and so we sat in the car and drove off to Lottemaa. Ironically, I have always said that „there is no bad wether, only wrong glothing“ and then in the morning I discovered that neither myself or Marek have waterproof clothes. As long as Ida had.

I am telling you now, rain is not an issue for children. They are actually having more fun and excitement. Grown-ups can handle it too. You just need to remember one thing: “Never forget that little child inside of you, that’s the key.“ When in the beginning of our trip, I was still hoping that the rain would stop, then on our arrival I realized that to be a naive hope. Only good mood and a bit of childishness was helping now. Good mood … hm. I must admit, that we are not the ideal family – we fight, we nag, we quarel and we are being moody. We are not trying to be an ideal family and so even this time we had our moments for different reasons. But you remember childisnhess and good mood straight away when seeing the characters and the negative emotions are driven away. Unbelivable actors. They are giving 100% of them even in pooring rain, maybe even more as they don’t want the rain to ruin the experience for their guests. „Clap to the rain! So nice that it is raining! We are having so much fun in the rain!“ were the main lines from them as they were running through the puddles. And it WAS fun.

Ofcourse I understand that on a sunny day, Lottemaa is even better, but trust me when I say, that rain is not the reason to skip your visit. There is plenty to do under shelter and it doesn’t rain in the houses. Both me and Marek went on slides, because we said on our winter trip that we will do it in summer time and there was no other way (though Marek did look at me as if to ask if „I have gone mad and forgotten I’m 37). You just have to forget yor age when visiting Lottemaa. It is such a charming place that I would visit it even more often.* I am a 100% fan. By the way, when I was reading years ago, how bloggers were prasing Lottemaa, I was sure they are over excagerating or lying, because what can be so fun in there. For an adult. I hadn’t heard any critisism which made me sceptical. For no reason. I don’t have enough words to descirbe, HOW cool place that is. Our own Estonian made.

By now I have also heard critisism. Firstly, it is expensive. Yes, I am not arguing that it isn’t. But let’s compare – any other weekend event and you will spend 25 euros on entertainment for kids. You get a day full of activities in Lottemaa for 20 euros. Secondly, it’s boring. This is probably said by those, who expect high roller-coster rides. There is so much to do and discover in Lottemaa. Yes, you can run through the houses in 30 minutes, look at the inventions and not be bothered, because they don’t explode or spit fire. But if you discover and explore, that is entertaining for everyone. I like the educational side of Lottemaa. It is not only fun and games, but fun and games through play. Thirdly, that things are run down and not working properly. Obviously there is wear and tear, but to say that Lottemaa in whole is run down is just shameful. Not working? Maybe more like not exploding or spitting fire. There is a children’s book, where Oscar was sent to stay with his grandparents in the countryside WITHOUT his mobilephone. This boy had to be inventive and discovered, that things around him talked. He only needed imagination. Lottemaa is the same – a bit of childishness, imagination and curiosity and you spend a wonderful day there. You will want to go back!

Do you want to know a secret we discovered today? Rain has its advantages. The characters have more time for you. There are no queues. But don’t think there is nobody at all, there was more people that I anticipated.

Lottemaa is opened untill 2nd of September. Go! No matter the weather. But if you can, spend the night somewhere close there. The day will be tiring and it would be much nicer to go to the nearest hotel to relax rather than drive 96 kilometers back to Tallinn. Why does it need to be a work day tomorrow too?!?!

At home, even Marek admitted it was the right thing to go. „What would have we done at home in a weather like this?“ Exactly my thoghts. Knowing Marek, we probably would have tided the house up. Who wants to clean anyway on their bankholiday Monday…

*Maybe Lottemaa could have a season ticket. Similarly to Hunderfossen where you can by season ticket for next summer before Christmas which was only about 15-20 euros more expensive than normal tickets.

 

Minu laps on geenius// My child is a genius!

/ Eveliis / 7 Comments

Üks põhjusi, miks me laseme Idal veel viimase aasta Norras lasteaias käia, on kindlasti norra keel. Keelteoskus on nii oluline ja mis saaks olla veel parem kui juba lapsena osata mitut keelt, lihtsalt niisama, et hakkas külge, ilma oluliselt seda õppimata. Muidugi olen ma aegajalt kahelnud, kas ta saab keeleliselt lasteaias hakkama, sest tema keeleoskus jääb ikkagi umbes kolme-aastase taseme juurde, samal ajal kui teised oskavad ju soravalt oma emakeeles rääkida, aga mitte ka liiga palju.  Kodus oleme me küll lugenud norrakeelseid raamatuid ja vaadanud norrakeelseid filme, kuid ma ei saa öelda, et Ida oleks olnud norra keelest enam väga vaimustunud. Pole ikka sama, mis keelekeskonnas elades, et keel kohe niisama külge hakkab.

Nüüd lasteaeda minnes tuletasin talle jälle põhilised laused, mida vaja võiks minna, meelde ja natuke raske südamega saatsin ta suurte laste – Friskuste- rühma. Mis aga selgus? Ootamatult rääkis Ida rohkem norra keelt kui keegi meist oleks osanud oodata. Ja rääkis, nii et ka mina kuulsin. Täitsa häbenemata. Muidu ta minu ees pigem häbenes vist rääkida, aga nüüd ei ole ta norra keeles rääkinud mitte vaid lasteaias, aga ka kodus – tädi Satuga. Muidugiei tea ta kõiki sõnu, aga ma olen täielikult üllatunud tema loovusest ja oskusest end kätega selgeks teha seal, kus sõnadest puudu jääb. Ta võiks vabalt mõne sõnaseletamise võistluse kinni panna. Puhas geenius eksju! *

Lisaks mõtleb ta ise norrakeelseid sõnu välja. Täiesti loogiliselt. Norra keeles lõppevad tegusõnad e-tähega: lesE, drikkE, spisE, badE, huskE… Kui Ida ei tea mingit sõna, näiteks “handlE” (ostma), siis ta ütleb “Skal vi gå å ostmE?” Ehk siis ta asendab eestikeelse sõnalõpu E-tähega ja arvab, et nii saigi norra keel. Nii nagu me  kõik teame, et läti keele saab kui sõnadele “s” lisada ja soome keele kui sõnadele “ainen” lisada. Kas pole leidlik? Iga päevaga õpin ma ja imestan KUI taibukad lapsed tegelikult on. See on nii põnev.

Mis veel Ida lasteaeda puutub, siis ma olen samuti hämmingus kui lihtsalt ta olukorraga kohandub ja sisse sulab gruppi. Loomulikult on lapsed tuttavad, aga siiski pikk suvepaus, uus maja, uued õpetajad ja võõras keelekeskkond. Kui kiiresti täiskasvanud uues olukorras “mängima” hakkavad? Idal läks kohanemisega 15 minutit! Jah, ma olen täielikus hämmingus. Minul läheks mitu päeva aega enne kui suu lahti teeksin. Vist. Võib olla ka mitte tegelikult. Aga kindlasti kohaneksin ma raskemini kui Ida.

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*te ju saate aru, et ma teen nalja kui last geeniuseks nimetan? Selles mõttes, et ma jah leian, et ta on ääääärmiselt tubli, leidlik ja taibukas, aga ma ei ole nii suures ahvivaimustuses, et Oxfordi ukse taha juba kraapima läheks. 

//

One reason, why we decided to keep Ida in Norwegian nursery for one more year, is definitely the language. Speaking different languages is so important and what could be better than knowing more than one language already as a child. Just because it stuck on you without really learning it. Of course I have had my doubts if she is able to cope there because of her language skill, as she speaks more like a 3 year old whereas her friends are already fluent, not too fluent though. At home we have read Norwegian books and watched Norwegian cartoons, but I cannot say that Ida has been keen on the language so much anymore. It is not the same as living in the language environment, where it just sticks to you.

Before returning to the nursery, we went over some main sentences she might need and feeling a bit worried, I sent her off to Friskus group – the group for the eldest children. What turned out? Unexpectedly, she spoke more Norwegian that any of us could have expected. And she spoke so that even I heard. Without feeling embarrassed. Usually she didn’t really want to speak in front of me, but now she has used the language not only in the nursery, but also at home with aunty Satu. Obviously, she doesn’t know the full vocabulary, but I was so surprised by her creativity and skill to make herself understandable by using hands when she might not know the words. She could easily win an Alias competition. Genius I’m telling you*

She also comes up with Norwegian words, using logic. In nrowegian, all werbs end with the letter E: lesE, drikkE, spisE, badE, huskE… If she doesn’t know a word, for example “handlE” (to buy), she will say “Skal vi gå å buyE?” In other words, she puts “E” in the end of the word and thinks she has come up with the Norwegian equivalent. Like we know, you get Latvian words by adding “S” in the end and Finnish words by adding “ainen”. Isn’t that clever? I learn every single day and admire HOW smart kids really are. It’s just so exciting.

Talking about the nursery, I’m amazed how easily she adapts and blends in to the group. Of course she knows all the kids, but still they had long summer break, new building, new teachers and different language. How quickly grown ups would “start to play” in a new situation? It took 15 minutes for Ida. Yes, I AM amazed. It would take couple of days for me before I actually say something. I think. Well actually, maybe not. But I would blend in harder compared to Ida.

*you do realize that I am kidding when I say my child is a genius? I mean, yes, I think she is extremely good, inventive, and smart, but I am not planning to knock on Oxford’s door in the near future!