Eluvales elamine//Look at how good life they are living and all the things they can afford

Mõnikord (okei, tihti) ei saa ma inimestest aru. Mul on ühed tuttavad, kes pidevalt rõhutavad KUI hästi nad elavad, kuidas neil on kõik olemas, kuidas nad saavad reisida, endale lubada kalleid riideid, ehteid, telefone, väljas söömas käia, aga teglikkus seal taga on midagi muud.

Fassaadi taga virelevad nad tillukeses korteris, elavad palgapäevast palgapäevani ja võlgu, muretsevad end hulluks, kust leida raha järgmise reisi jaoks – soodsad lennupiletid on tore küll, aga neid broneerides ei mõtle nad kunagi, et reisil endal kulub ka raha. Ja siis hakkab alati stress – kust raha saada või laenata. Nad on käinud reisil oma võileivad kotis kaasas ning söönud hotellitoas kiirnuudleid, ent sotsiaalmeedia on täis IMELISI pilte puhkusest palmi all. “Ahh kui hea on, et me ei pea käima kellast kellani tööl ja saame teha täpselt seda, mida tahame!” rõhutavad nad alati. Kingad, kellad, telefonid ja ehted peavad ALATI olema tuntud brändide omad, ALATI peavad nad rõhutama KUI PALJU need asjad maksid. Jumal hoidku selle eest, et neid näeks rääkimas iPhone6Siga, alla X ei sobi midagi, sest hallloooo eilne päev. Järelmaksud ja liisingud on osa nende elust, mis sellest, et võtab hinge kinni, aga nii saab vähemalt fassaadi ehitada.

Ma tean ka seda, et paljud ongi nende peale kadedad, sest “vaata, kui hästi nad elavad ja mida nad endale lubada saavad”, teadmata, millises eluvales need inimesed elavad. Ja ma ei saagi nendest aru. Miks on vaja teistele ja ENDALE valetada, et ollakse edukamad ja ilusamad ja rikkamad kui tegelikult. Mis see elule juurde annab? Mis väärtus sellel valetamisel on?

Kas ei oleks lihtsam endale tunnistada, kus punktis nad hetkel on oma elus. On täiesti okei elada üürikorteris, mis on nagu tikutoos, kui inimesed on seal õnnelikud ja neil ei ole rohkemaks võimalusi, aga miks taguda endale vastu rinda ja raiuda, et see on teadlik valik, sest siis saavad nad reisida ja ei ole sõltuvad millestki ega kellestki. Kas eluvales elamine on lihtsam kui reaalsusele näkku vaadata?

Sama tahaks ma küsida ka nendelt, kes elavad koos inimesega, sest “parem ikka kui üksi” ja “ega nüüd nii hull ka ei ole” või “vähemalt on mul maja ja auto ja…” Miks oma elu raisata?

//

Sometimes (okay, quite often) I don’t understand people. I have friends, a couple, who constantly emphasize how well they are living; how they have everything they want; how they can travel and buy expensive clothes, jewelry, phones; how they can dine out in expensive restaurants. But the reality is something else.

Behind the facade they can barely survive in a tiny apartment; they struggle from payday to payday and keep borrowing money; simultaneously worrying where they can find money for their next trip – getting bargain plane tickets is good, but every time while booking something, they don’t think that you also need money on holiday. And that’s where the stress starts – where to get or borrow money. They have brought their own sandwiches to holiday or eating instant noodles in their hotel room, but the same time social media is full of wonderful holiday pictures under the palms. They are always stressing, that “it is so good that we don’t have to work from 9 to 5 and can do exactly what we want!” Shoes, watches, phones and jewelry HAVE TO be from big brands and of course they HAVE TO stress, HOW MUCH these things cost. God forbid if you see them talking with iPhone 6S, nothing is good below X, because c’mon, that is so yesterday. Getting things on credit it part of their everyday, even if it is too much for them, but it helps to build the facade.

I also know, that a lot of people actually are jealous of them, because “look at how good life they are living and all the things they can afford” not knowing, what is the reality and truth. To be honest, I don’t understand them either. Why do you need to lie others and YOURSELF, that you are more successful and better, wealthier than you really are. What does it offer? What is the benefit of all this lying?

 

 

Rohkem eluvalet ja vähem haavatud parte/ More lifelies and less wounded ducks

Eile üle möne aja tuli mulle jälle must masendus kallale. Pöhjuseid selleks on mitmeid, alates täiesti naeruväärsetest olmeprobleemidest kuni eksistentsiaalsemateni. KUID kuna ma eile mötlesin ka selle peale, milline mu blogi peaks olema ja mida ma siin teistega jagan, siis ma jöudsin ka selle järelduseni, et ma püüan endaspidi ennast ja oma elu blogis aina vähem lahata, st neid “same shit different day” tundeid. Ma mötlesin  edaspidi rohkem keskenduda sellele, et end teistest paremana näidata, blogi kaudu oma elu ilusamaks elada, rohkem eluvalet ja vähem haavatud parti. Seepärast ma jagangi tänaseid positiivseid emotsioone läbi piltide ja neid tunded, mis mind eile valdasid kui me Lillehammerisse jöudsime. Keegi ootas meid ja tundis meie saabumisest röömu. See oli nii hea tunne. Südame tegi soojaks, nii läägelt kui see ka ei köla. Mu elu on töepoolest naljakas. ühelt poolt finantsiline hädaorg, teiselt poolt muinasjutt.

Kui Lillehammerisse satute, siis täitsa soovitan teil sellisesse pubisse nagu Nikkers sööma minna. Hea asukoht, enam-vähem möistlikud hinnad ja toit oli ka hea.

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I have been feeling quite sad today, for several reasons starting from small problems to more serious ones like feeling myself as a failure in so many ways, but I have also thought a bit how I want to continue with this blog. Do I want to share all the negative things in my life to give my haters a reason to laugh or do I want them hate me because my life seems so much better than theirs through blog. I thought I will start living my life more beautiful via blog and show myself better and bigger than I am. Hide the avarage mainstream person to attic with the wounded wild ducks and show more of my life-lies. This is also why I share these photos of today on the blog – I have been sad, without a goal, but the more it made me happy when we arrived to Lillehammer late yesterday evening and someone was waiting for us and glad to see us. Sounds so cheesy, but it really warms my heart to see that I am perhaps not that horrible person that I read from comments time to time. Selfish probably, but still likeble. 

So there will be more lifelies in this blog from now on. Be prepared. 

PS: When you come to Lillehammer, Nikkers pub is one of the places where it is quite nice to eat. Today reminded me of a visit to Nikkers 16 years ago. With uncle Tarmo, my mom, sister and host dad Arne. We lived on Elvegata, in a red house right behind Nikkers and after dinner Arne suddenly decided that we have to go and drink a beer. Not my sister of course, she was like 11 or so, but we others. It was a nice evening, something I will always remember from Lillehammer.