Kui ma olin viimaseid kuid rase, siis ma vaatasin poes ringi jalutavaid äsjasünnitanud naisi nagu Imenaisi. Ma mäletan nii hästi, kuidas ma mõtlesin, et appikene, naine, kuidas sa juba liikuda suudad, sinust on alles 1-5 kuud tagasi terve inimene välja tulnud. Ma kujutasin ette, et peale sünnitust ei ole ma võimeline vähemalt 1-5 kuud liikuma, sest halloo, terve inimene on minust just välja pressitud. Pärast sünnitust olin ma šokeeritud, et tegelikkuses suutsin isegi mina omal jalal wc-sse minna, lapsega jalutada, istuda ja lausa kõndida. Veider tunne oli lihtsalt ja üsna ebamugav, aga mitte otseselt valus, elu halvav nagu ma olin arvanud. Ja mul ei olnud lihtne sünnitus. Ida näitas oma kanget iseloomu juba algusest saati – tervelt kolm päeva üritati teda välja meelitada. Mu sõbrnnad, kes peale mind sünnitama läksid, said ka varem lapsed kätte.

Ma mäletan ka seda kui kerge tunne oli peale sünnitust. Kõht oli ikka suur ja suurim probleem oli riietes, sest rasedariided olid suured ja oma riided ilmselgelt väikesed, aga ma tundsin, kuidas ma ei ole enam 30+ lisakilo, vaid …no tunduvalt vähem, nii et ma sain inimese moodi liikuda. Olgugi et mind iga mingi aja tagant mind rääbakaks ja kaltsakaks nimetatakse ei ole mina end kunagi sellisena tundnud, ilmselt vaid sünnituslaual võisin ma välja näha selline, et ehmataks inimesed päriselt ära. Ja teate, ma arvan, et ka Cambridge´i herstoginna nägi sünnituslaual välja mitte kõige säravam, sest olgem ausad, mitte ükski naine ei mõtle sel hetkel oma välimuse peale. Me kõik näeme välja nagu “kassiokse” nagu uus popp väljend ütleb.

Millised me välja näeme haiglast välja astudes ja kuna me sealt välja astume sõltub juba inimesest ja sünnitusest. On ilmselge, et kõik ei pruugi kohe haiglast välja saada, aga teine võib ilma probleemita minna kartulipõllule ja kolmas poseerib särava ja kaunina fotograafidele. Mina vaatasin Kate Middletoni pilte ja mõtlesin, et milline ilus eeskuju äsjasünnitanutele. Loomulikult on ta sätitud ja korrektselt riides, kas te kujutaks teda teistmoodi ette, aga ta on selline nagu ta on, ei ole isegi kõhtu peitnud, et endast saledamat muljet jätta. Täiesti tavaline  Imekaunis sünnitanud naine. Ilus eeskuju.

Ma ei pea silmas seda, et haiglast välja tulles peaksime me kandma meiki, kaunilt sätitud kiharaid ja uut kleiti. Meie pildid sellest hetkest kui me haiglast välja astume ei levi ka üle maailma. Meile on rohkem lubatud, aga minu meelest muutuvad aga  paljud emad oma välimuse suhtes liiga lohakaks küll peale lapsesaamist. Väljaveninud dressid, suured t-särgi, dressipluusid, pesemata juuksed peapeal krunnis. Ärge öelge, et ei ole nii. On ikka küll. Ma olen neid kordi ja kordi arsti vastuvõtul, poes ja sotsiaalmeedias näinud. Eriti sotsiaalmeedias, kus uhkelt eelpooltoodud komplektis poosetatakse ja kiideldakse, et ma olen ema, mul võibki piimaplekiline pluus seljas olla, jalad karvased ja kolm nädalat pesemata. Võibki. Aga ei pea. Ja siis ei tekita imeilusa Kate´i pildid pahameelt.

Samas muidugi ma natuke saan ka aru nendest, kes kritiseerivad neid ilusaid inimesi. Ma võrdlesin ka, milline nägin välja peale sünnitust mina ja milline Caroline Berg Eriksen. Korraks tundsin end isegi halvasti, aga siis sain aru, et meil on üks oluline erinevus. Mina ei ole tuntud, minu iga liigutust ei kommenteeri sajad tuhanded inimesed, aga vajadusel saab isegi minu üles lüüa, nii et ma võin vähemalt piltidel särada. Me ise valime, millise kuvandi me endast loome. Milliseks me muutume.   Jätame endale lihtsalt meelde, et on kaks eri asja, kas sa oled äsjasünnitanud Cambridge´i hertsoginna või suvaline Mari Maasikas.

When I was last months pregnant, I look at women in the shop, who had just given birth, like superheroes. I can remember clearly thinking “My god woman, how are you able to move already, it was only 1- 5 months ago when a human being was pushed out of you.” I imagined that I will not be able to move for at least 1-5 months after giving birth, because c’mon, I have just pushed a human being out of myself. After the delivery I pleasantly surprised that actually, even I was able to go to the toilet on my own, go on walks with the baby, sit and even walk. It just felt weird and quite uncomfortable, but not painful, paralytically painful as I had thought. And my delivery was not easy. Ida decided to show her character straight from the beginning – it took her three days to arrive to this world. My friends, who went into labor after me, had their babies born before Ida.

I also remember how light it felt after giving birth. My belly was still big and the biggest problem was finding suitable clothes as pregnancy clothes were too big and my clothes too small, but I felt like I am not +30 kilos anymore, but … well a lot less, so I could walk like humans do. Even though I was called scruffy every so often, I have never felt like that. I guess I could look like one on the delivery table and scare people off. And I also think that even the Duchess of Cambridge didn’t look at her best while delivering, because to be fare, no woman is thinking of her appearance on that moment. We all look like trash.

How do we look when we leave the hospital or when do we leave from there the first place, depends on the person and the delivery. It is so obvious that not everyone can leave the hospital immediately, but there are those, who can go and clean the whole house straight away or those, who pose elegantly to the photographers. I looked at Kate Middleton’s photos and thought, what a beautiful role model to fresh mums. Of course she had professional help with her hair and make up and she was wearing designer made dress, but could you imagine her differently? That’s the way she is, she even didn’t try to hide her baby bump to look slimmer. Pretty woman, who had just given birth. A beautiful role model.

I don’t mean that we should all have our hair done and wear make up and new dress when we leave the hospital. The pictures of us leaving the hospital will not spread around the news either. We are allowed much more, but to be honest, in my opinion, too many mums become unconcerned on their look after giving birth. Stretched out jogging bottoms, too big T-shirts, hoodies, greasy hair tied up in a knot. Don’t tell it’s not like that. It is. I have seen these mums time after time at the doctor’s, in the shop, in social media. Especially in social media, when all this aforementioned is proudly shown off with the words “I am a mum, my shirt can have milk stains, my legs can be hairy and my hair can be unwashed for weeks.” Yes, it can be so. But it doesn’t have to. And in that case, seeing pictures of beautiful Kate will not make you feel angry and annoyed.

On the other hand, I can somehow understand those, who criticize these beautiful people. I was also comparing the way I looked after giving birth and how did Caroline Berg Eriksen. For a moment I felt bad, but then I realized, that there is one big difference between us. I am not a celebrity, every move I make is not observed and commented by hundreds of thousand of people. Still, if there is a need, I scrub up pretty good and am able to shine at least on the photos. Only we ourselves choose the image we decide to show of us to everybody else. What we become of. Let’s just remember, that there is a difference between being the Duchess of Cambridge, who just had a baby or an average person, who just delivered.